Together Relationship
Fill Up Your Life with Energy of Love
SNM
What is the LIMIT of (SAHANSHILTA) TOLERANCE for the Person and what is the solution to cross such hurdles in life?
When kids don’t listen, husband does not agree, care for the family, when friends and relatives have wrong ideas? A person wants to have happy, healthy peaceful and honorable life to live?
Naran
If you think that happiness depends upon friends and relatives, you will never get.
This world has all people good and bad. All emotions like fear, anger sadness and worry are present within us.
At the same time we have other emotions like peace, love, happiness, joy, calmness etc also within us.
If the same person can have both surviving emotions and evolving emotions at the same time, the outside world also can have good and bad people.
We should believe in co-existence. When we don’t like others because they are creating problem for us, we think they should not be in our vicinity.
This fear about them makes us forget our good qualities.
In the midst of fear, cultivate sympathy. When you don’t get love, give love. In this world nothing is imperfect. Everything is happening as it should.
If there is imperfection around us, we are trained to see imperfection only. Develop the attitude of gratitude thinking that everything is perfect. Always thank any event any person.
Sympathy, unconditional love and gratitude only can elevate us and only in evolved state we can get peace or happiness.
Same anger, same hatred and same fear will bring in the same people, same event and our life becomes a repetition of the past.
Break the past. Think differently. Then you can have a different future.
Chant “TOGETHER FORGIVE LOVE THANK BE DIVINE” 1000 times, of which 100 times over a glass of water.
Drink that water so that the body also is filled up with that energy of love!!!
Message to Someone Special
Oli
I want to know whether there is any chant or process to send a message to someone without calling the person.
For the person to whom I want to say my words are not receiving my call, but I need to express my emotions.
Naran
Think about the message before chanting and chant “REACH BETWEEN TOGETHER DIVINE”
Likes and Dislikes
Naran
How liking for a person operates inside the mind?
Take one person what you like about him and what you don’t like about him, say your spouse for example.
You have a liking for the person. What is the desire operating behind this like?
For some reason you like him. Whoever listens to us we like them. If somebody argues with us, even if they tell the truth we don’t like them.
Therefore, when we like somebody we have to like him for some reason. It could be based on desire for approval or desire to associate.
- Therefore, shall we say, ‘I release my desire to like him’.
Because we have desire to possess, when that person is around, we feel happy.
When they go away from us, then we do not feel happy and start hating that person.
Did you release the liking for that person? We are not sure, so we are not releasing it.
When you release your likes about a person, everything will go on well between you and the concerned person. Love will get stronger.
- Release all your likes and dislike for the same person.
How does dislike operates?
If they are like this, then I am happy about them. Thus, a desire to control or change the person operates here.
- Therefore, welcome your dislike and release your dislike.
- Then accept your desire to control and release it as well.
A SIMPLE technique to make others love you
Before doing anything, before speaking anything, ask yourself, “Will the Divine be happy and bless me if I do this or speak this?”
If you think that the divine will be happy and bless, then you may proceed.
Then you will be loved by one and all.
Why are we doing this exercise?
It makes you to be silent, or to train yourselfto be in silence. We cannot know the value of silence.
As you reduce your speech, silence will automatically come. Silence will develop as you stop using unnecessary words.
Lead a Life of No-Karma
The more you try to be silent or reduce your speech you will come out of your karma very easily. The moment you utter a word, you are incurring your karma.
You are not responsible for any word or emotion that is not under your control. If you just say “RELEASE”, the emotion or thought will go.
Instead of doing that, with emotion/thought as your motivating force, if you utter a word or do a thing then you are entering into karma.
When there is conflict or quarrel you have to be very careful in using your words. If we speak unnecessarily it will bounce back on you at a later stage.
(Only here) You should use your analytical mind and restrain from such talks.
The above extract was taken from ‘I Love Myself Workbook’ by Naran S Balakumar
What goes out comes in
Naran
Our contradictory behaviors – Home vs. Work
We will keep criticizing people at home for small things, while we tolerate more in the work place.
On the contrary, when an assistant asks for small things, you may reject it using office procedures as an excuse. Though at home, you might prefer to say yes for whatever your wife asks for.
You may reject somebody and dislike somebody else. The same dislike will operate against you in some other place. Somebody else will reject you or dislike you.
She got into some problem in her office
Anjali was blamed for something she didn’t do, saying that the work comes under her jurisdiction. Whatever explanation she wanted to give was not accepted, even though she is an honest worker.
Then why this should happen to her?
I asked her whether she had rejected someone close to her. She said all along she treated her husband like dirt.
I told her when she changes her attitude toward him, her office situation will become alright and it did.
When you are rejecting a person with no reason, then you will be rejected unnecessarily in some other place. If you constantly find fault with somebody then you will be criticised by somebody else. This is a mental cycle.
Nobody is happy at home
Radhika
My family is really facing issues…
My brother earns quite an amount. However, my parents have to beg for the money. My Bhabhi will unknowingly or knowingly make life difficult for my mother.
My brother has no respect for parents. I don’t know how to make him realise what his parents have sacrificed for him. It’s even difficult to explain it to you.
I am really troubled now.
I can’t see my parents especially my mother going through so much. And my brother is an estranged person now. There is no relationship existing. They live their own life inside the same house.
It’s very frustrating to see all this. My parents don’t take my money Even if i insist. I am tired.
Time and again there are fights arising. My parents aren’t happy. Bhabhi is also not happy. I am sure she wants to live separately. She once told my parents to move out of this house.
Why doesn’t my brother understand?
I want to take my parents and move out of this house. But for this there is no resource, parents want security. Brother wants property. So neither of them will budge.
I try to tell my brother what is right.
My mother thinks I am the one responsible for fights because I bring out the issues.
I feel helpless and rotten. I try to see things being ‘unattached’ to the world. But i can’t when it comes to my parents. My blood boils.
Give me some advice. Please.
Also I have been chanting ‘Vallabam Gajaananam Eka Dhantham’ around 50-100 times a day.
Someday, I feel good. Office life has been sorted out. But family life is still a problem.
It has all started after my brother got married. With all due respect to my Bhabhi She comes from a rich family. So she has different values.
On top of this my marriage is still a big question mark.
Naran
Your intense desire to change your brother and the events happening will produce opposite results.
Pray and prayer only can help.
Instead of desiring what to happen, you thank your brother for respecting your parents.
Take a list of what you want for your parents. Say “I thank the divine for………..” – fill up the blanks with a want and do it for each of your wants separately.
Daily do this.
Mantras and switch words will work when we surrender and accept the divine order only.
You cannot change anything with your will. Your will and divine will should unite. The link is the surrendering attitude.
Surrendering is Samarpanam. Samarpanam is keeping all our words, prayers and actions at the feet of Divine with the intention to accept whatever he offers.
Chant “NAMASHIVAYAM”. This will help you to understand how to detach from the result
Radhika
Thank you! I realised it’s not others. I am being too adamant and expecting things to follow a rule, whereas this universe is infinite and has its own set of directions.
I realise that I have to give in and surrender to somebody up there…
Thank you so much for this precious advice… You are a great guide to life 🙂
Heal your relationships through gem remedies
Communication, mediation and reconciliation
When you want to make reconciliation with somebody and to re-establish a relationship: Emerald
If you haven’t received any communication from somebody (say for example after betrothal no communication for two days)
Emerald: it will establish communication
Love pangs
Chicory, Coral
Immoral behavior
If there is immoral behaviour or infatuation is in a person, then it means salt content is more.
“Nsatrum.Mur” 1 cm every week once, will remove infatuation. Even the gem remedy Coral can remove it.
Infatuation
You might say, “I find there is a mismatch in their relationship”. Why the other person is unduly influenced by their lover.
If you give the Bach Flower Remedy Walnut, it will break the relationship, if it is unwanted. It is a link breaker.
In moment of his weakness, he would have accepted the love offer. If the girl is not good, give Walnut to the boy, he will come out of it.
Also, add the gem remedy Coral to Walnut. If it is infatuation, both of them will come out of the relationship. They would have been thinking it is true love.
If it’s not required, they will break out of it. If they are destined to marry, then it will happen as one has to undergo certain experiences. We can’t do anything about it.
Thus, for infatuation gem remedy Coral and Bach Flower Walnut will do the necessary healing.
Attract loving people
To attract only loving people: Holly, (gem remedy) Kunzite. Kunzite will open up the Heart chakra. Keyword for Kunzite is compassion. It’s a very costly stone somewhere between 5 to 10 thousand rupees.
In addition, it is very difficult to get the right stone and it is rarely available in USA. But this is available as pills in the Bach Flower Study Centre, Chennai.
Relationships: improve, combine and form
Emerald: to form a relationship, it is the remedy. To solidify the relationship, Diamond is required.
That’s why in Indian culture, Diamond is given importance. It builds the relationship and strengthens it.
For girls who are not married yet
Coral and Emerald
For guys who are not married yet
Diamond and Emerald
Use and Throw
Satya
I am surprised that I am following my father’s footsteps.
Firstly, my mother passed away when my father was little more than 50 years old.
Now, at the age of 53, due to differences with my wife, we are living separately.
Secondly, now I understand why you gave me the Bach Flower Remedies Chicory and Vine, instead to my father.
I realize now, I have the same traits of my father. When I look back at my life either I have manipulated people or forced them to do what I want.
Thirdly, and most importantly I realize that I can heal myself of the above two if I do past life healing.
Thank you for suggesting me to do the healing with the symbol 116 (Attract-Friends), but for which I wouldn’t have realized the wrong stuff I am doing with my relationships.
Naran
A Chicory person will manipulate to get his things done, while a Vine will force others to do what he or she wants.
Their intention is by hook or crook, they need to get their things done.
When you behave like this, how can you have loving relationships?
When one doesn’t respect the opposite person’s feelings and needs, how can you expect to gain respect and love from them?
It’s good you have realized your mistakes.
Continue to take the remedies for some more time.
In addition, continue the healing for your parents.
Explanation
Sometimes, even after lot of healing we can’t change ourselves, because we have inherited the characteristics of our parents.
Satya’s mother is no more. Yet, I want both of his parents to be healed.
Satya’s father used to ignore his wife and kids, by always going on tours.
It means both of them would have suffered loneliness and separation. Unless, their loneliness is healed, Satya’s loneliness cannot be healed.
How can you heal your parents or others?
Write the names of the concerned persons in the blank circle and chant the relevant switch words.
I Deserve Respect
(From the ‘I Love Myself’ workbook)
How to deserve more respect in your life?
Do the following:
- Reflect on your life. How much respect you are giving to others?
- Are you able to respect one and all?
Weigh the amount of respect you give to others
Reflect on your life and find out how much respect you are giving to others.
What is the meaning of respect?
It is not that you should get up from the chair, when someone comes. It is the humanitarian aspect, I am talking about.
A millionaire shows his respect to his driver, a case history
I received an email recently. A person was working as a driver for a multi-millionaire in Pune, for more than 30 years.
When the boss was in Mumbai he received a message that his driver passed away. He replied asking not to dispose of the driver’s body until he arrives at the funeral proceedings.
After reaching Pune, the millionaire put the driver’s body in his car, and he drove the car himself to the burial ground.
This, I would call showing the right RESPECT.
Roles do not define a person
We are always playing different roles. I deserve respect means, as a human being I need respect and not for the role I am playing.
If you are an MD of a corporate then anybody will give you respect.
We find the same situation in government offices. A peon will be saluting to his officer until he retires. But, when the officer retires and comes back to the office to draw his pension that time the peon will not even bother to have a look at him.
To know the equality of a human being is respect. But what we generally do?
We say, “He is a cleaner”, or “He is a driver” and keep people at a distance. However, by keeping them at a distance we are preventing ourselves from the flow of love.
How to give respect to others
- You think in these aspects and find where all we expect respect.
- ‘All humans are equal’ is the only way we can give respect and take respect. Find out whether we can give respect to all, this way.
Treat everybody humanly
If you think the other person is my husband/wife then only quarrel will be present. Instead, if you think that the other person is also a human being then we will start giving them love and respect.
If you get the understanding that you and I are one, then only love will start pouring in our lives.
Only that attitude will bring more love for you. In addition, you will find more time to love yourselves.
Acknowledge the Good in Others
Rajendran is a highly reputed officer working in a government office approached Naran.
Rajendran: I have a problem with my neighbour, who lives above my flat.
Water is leaking from his bathroom and seeps in to mine. The house owner is not willing to fix that.
Naran: Is he a bad person.
Rajendran: Interestingly, he is an exemplary in all his activities – especially inside our apartment complex. He has made lot of improvements in our complex.
Therefore, everyone likes him. Yet, I don’t know why he doesn’t want to fix the issue in his bathroom.
Naran: Do me a favour. Write all the good qualities he has and send it to him, without complaining about his bathroom and let me know what happens.
Rajendran did as Naran suggested. He got a reply from his neighbour apologising for not fixing the issue. He went ahead and fixed the issue.
Children given constant, positive feedback will groom to be better children, than the ones constantly criticized by his parents
Circle of Goodness
In the Babemba tribe of South Africa, when a person acts unjustly or irresponsibly, he is placed in the centre of the village, alone and unfettered.
All work ceases, and every man, woman, and child in the village gathers in a large circle around the accused individual.
Then each person in the tribe speaks to the accused, one at a time, each recalling the good things the person in the centre of the circle has done in his lifetime.
Every incident, every experience that can be recalled with any detail and accuracy, is recounted.
This tribal ceremony lasts for several days.
At the end, the tribal circle is broken, a joyous celebration takes place, and the person is symbolically and literally welcomed back into the tribe.
– From the book, “The art of forgiveness, Loving kindness and Peace”