Posts tagged negotiating

Roles People Play

Reddy

Quite often, we are required to play different roles with respect to the same person. In the process lot of misunderstandings occur due to perception at both ends.

At work, we have a subordinate who is also a friend. This friend does not play his role in the office as required.

In the role of a friend, you try to protect him in various ways besides telling him / her about the problems in a friendly manner.

However, if it is not adhered to, it may go the extreme end that you may even need to terminate him/her. It is a very difficult choice. You are torn between both the roles.

In the earlier days, we could take a very dharmic stand and take decisions.

However, now we are required to play a role negotiating happiness for various people in the name of Professionalism / Management etc and suffer.

At home, we have to act as a Parent, Friend, Teacher, friend to your kids.

Often a role is over played by each of the participant resulting in clashes and misunderstanding. Each forgets that they are over stepping on the other role due to inherent flair for one.

Thus, a parent who is generally has a strong Vasanas of a Teacher in making, preaches more and is not able to know when to cut off and act as a friend.

Please give your recommendation to solve the above by way of flower remedy.

Naran

Whatever the role we play, let us ask a simple question.

What is that we lack in any role?

Basically, every relationship is based on communication. How do we communicate? What do we communicate? What do we want to communicate?

The objective of any communication is to reach out to the other person.

BEECH is the remedy for improving our communication.

What are the negative mental states of Beech?

  • Unable to understand other man’s point of view
  • Unable to appreciate other man’s priorities
  • Intolerance
  • Fault-finding
  • Desire to control or change the other person

If one is in one of the above mental states, right communication will not take place. Here, how Beech can help us?

BEECH can bridge the gap between two persons and makes one understand other man’s point of view.

WALNUT should be taken along with Beech. Walnut can bring in change in the mind. A changed outlook and a changed view will give a different communication tool.

For you Mr. Reddy, in addition to taking BEECH and WALNUT, you take CENTAURY also, while communicating in the office.

“What would my friend think? Will he be hurt, if I say this?” These expressions belong to negative mental state of Centaury.

Rushrush

Wonderfully explained….your site is a healthy addiction.

I feel the need to read it like a holy book everyday…sorting out life’s many questions and seeking the right answer….

I follow so many remedies you advice, go through the topics so many times, sometimes apply my 2 cents worth as well….analyse life’s situation from a different angle….

I have changed so much in my mind and heart…..all because of being a part of this wonderful site and your guidance!!!!

Thank you ever so much…….Naran….THERE’s still so much to absorb from you……..regards……

Rude Boss becomes Appreciating Boss

Swarna

Sometimes things seem to get worse before it gets better. But in getting worse the situation tests us and strengthens us in ways we cannot imagine or know.

All we need to learn is to sit still and watch our mind as the fluid situation morphs, and shifts.

We learn to see our fear, guilt, and our negative tendencies.

We learn to be watchful, not restful. We understand that growth, life, is characterized by changes.

Situations morph rapidly. We realize that there is really no beginning or end, it is our mind that creates the illusion.

We learned these from our own experience detailed below:

One man, thirty machines and endless working hours

Last year, we contacted Naran when my husband was going through lot of challenges at work. He had been in the new job for two years and doing very well.

Then, the supervisor began adding new machines to the lab. It was one man and 15 machines to begin with. It was manageable.

Each machine was specialized and the chemicals cost a lot of money. If experiments failed, it would be difficult to make up for the loss of valuable samples and the wastage of time and money. It was challenging to finish jobs that were lined up on all of the machines.

The lab ended up with 30 machines and one man. Working continuously made my husband tired and unable to think. And he began to work on weekends too. To make the situation worse, his supervisor began to shout at him. 

My husband was threatened that he will be fired

In May last year, the Director called my husband and threatened to remove him. No reasons were given and he was shouted at him for 30 minutes.

My husband was shaken and could not understand what had happened. Naran asked us to chant “I AM A BEING OF VIOLET FIRE. I AM PURITY OF GOD DESIRES.”

Naran also asked us to chant and write— “OM GAM GANAPATHAYE NAMAHA”.

We have continued to do it every day from then on. 

The director apologized

Within a week of this chanting, the Director came and apologized to my husband for his outburst. He told my husband that he hope that my husband would not quit because of the outburst.

We were surprised and grateful at the turn of events. We continued to write the Ganesh mantra and be relaxed.

Surprise became Shock

In June, my husband was called again and the Director said he would put him on probation for the job. This really disturbed my husband and he couldn’t sleep or eat.

Naran advised us to write (the Bach Flower Remedies) – “ELM, WATER VIOLET, HOLLY, VINE, HORNBEAM” in a piece of paper and keep it in my husband’s pocket and do the same in another paper and keep it under the pillow. And Naran asked me to chant (Bach Flower Remedies) “RED CHESTNUT, VINE”.

And to improve the working atmosphere, Naran advised my husband to chant the switch words, “LOVE, THANK, TOGETHER DIVINE”. My husband began to juggle these new responsibilities. His job was reduced to 75% time from 100%. However, he had to work for 100% of the time.

Now comes a big surprise

Six months later, we had a surprise when the administrators asked people to submit their job descriptions and responsibilities for comparing it with what people were getting paid for across the nation.  My husband’s position was also called for reclassification.  Naran asked us to chant:GENTIAN, LARCH, THANK, TOGETHER DIVINE ORDER COUNT NOW DONE”.

Back to square one – problems started again

On December 10th, we returned to the same critical situation when, my husband’s Director called him and made him sign a memorandum saying he would fix all machines within December 20th. My husband had been working with the companies for months and nothing had been resolved. The Director was aware of all this.  

Naran advised us to download a picture of MUSTARD (Bach flower) and PINK TOURMALINE (gem remedy) and paste both on the name of my husband. And also chant the switch words “TOGETHER CHANGE NOW”.

Everything went smoothly like a whistle

Thanks to these divine interventions, the deadline passed off smoothly without an incident.

But the biggest challenge was negotiating the annual review that was due at the end of the month.  The annual review would determine if he would stay or go. In the current economic market, it was very hard to land another job. Living in the US without citizenship meant that we had to show continuous employment status. We continued to chant TOGETHER CHANGE NOW and write the Ganapathi mantra daily.

Annual review came on the right time 

The annual review was postponed to January. It so happened that Divine took care of everything so beautifully. On Thursday, his immediate supervisor completed my husband’s annual review and gave him glowing references. They also discussed about my husband getting more help in the lab, and reinstating his job to 100% from 75% that he is currently on.

Three days later, the Director who was shouting at him all the time, said that there was no need for another review and he had nothing to add or change to the review already performed, and he agreed with everything. Everyone who knows the Director says this is nothing short of a miracle!

 The director accepted his failings openly

Last week, the Director called my husband privately and told him that his personality was that of a person who magnified the negative. From his interactions with my husband he is realizing that he had to appreciate everything positive and not pay so much importance to the negative.

My husband said he politely thanked him and left, but inside he was shouting ‘Together Divine’ in a deafening crescendo. He felt so happy that he didn’t have to say a word for this change to come over! The flowers, gems, the switch words are so beautiful and so powerful!

We successfully sailed through the stressful phase

We are grateful for the divine to have helped us through this difficult and stressful phase. The chants helped us stay focused and positive and not panic. We found time daily to chant ‘Together Divine’ and write ‘Om Gam Ganapathayae Namaha.’

 Lessons learned

We understand and are grateful that our future unfolds in small clear steps.

We have the opportunity to be watchful, present and steer the direction of our life.

Naran taught us patiently and gently to keep our mind open to the gifts that every situation brings in and not be carry our old patterns with us.

We are continuing to learn.

Naran

Thank you for sharing. What we need is trust in divinity. Yours has vindicated that. Best of luck!!!

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