Posts tagged same

How to love parents who are cruel

10 years ago
by admin in

Grace

My parents have been cruel to each other and to me in various ways. How to love them?

Naran

The irony is we know how to get angry or how to blame. Who taught this? How does it come to us so naturally?

While learning to live from childhood, we have been learning wrongly. Unfortunately, there is no teacher. We observe, understand and form a thought, conclusion and start believing.

We should understand that when by being in resentment, resentment only grows.

By being in a state of anger, anger only grows.

In spite of our knowing that anger and resentment cannot achieve what we want, yet we will be in that state.

You may not love them. Can you not help yourself by getting away from resentment?

See what you cannot see. Don’t see what you see.

When you stop judging, you start observing. When you observe, you understand what you have not so far understood.

Any feeling that blocks our progress can be released. Get any feeling that can enhance your life progress.

Grace

Thank you for such a complete answer. I am grateful.

I know intellectually that holding on to my judgment of them is causing me problems. I will try to do EFT or something to reduce my resentment (although I never call it that!).

Some part of me thinks it would be wrong to allow them to just be who they are. As if the judgment will save me from becoming like them.

Naran

Don’t drag them into your life now.

Unite all the parts.

Forget what happened and treat them as new persons and be neutral first. Even the slightest resentment against them, will bring the same type of persons in your life.

Related Posts

There are no accidents only incidents: http://reachnaran.com/there-are-no-accidents-only-incidents/

Relationship with Parents equals Relationship with others: http://healbybachflowers.wordpress.com/2012/07/30/relationship-with-your-parents-relationship-with-others/

Remove the plasters inside the mind: http://reachchildcare.wordpress.com/2013/10/13/remove-the-plasters-inside-the-mind/

I am the victim! I am the villain!!

10 years ago
by admin in

R Mohan

Five years back you told me that we invite people who mirror us. Specifically you said the people around me are in PINE state (low self-esteem, guilty), because I am in the same state.

Recently I observed, I create a scare in the people around me (MIMULUS). So I chanted MIMULUS and the opposite states (the opposite person who will create Mimulus) of it – HOLLY and VINE.

Immediately, I felt very happy. My question to you is, how did MIMULUS make me happy?

Naran

The positive aspect of Mimulus is sympathy. That’s why I suggested Mimulus. The Holly and Vine persons will kindle fear in others. By taking Mimulus, you turn the Holly, loving and sympathetic.

In the same way, when you chanted Mimulus, you become sympathetic to the different parts inside yourself namely, the part of HOLLY and the part of VINE. So, in turn you felt relieved and happy.

Several years back, I suggested you to take Mimulus when you were fearful to buy a property. The same fear is still inside you, which is normal.

Just take MIMULUS for the next few days, to be sympathetic, which comes from higher state of love that believes in co-existence.

Related Posts

I am the Hero and the Villain, in the Movie (Life) Directed By Me: http://healbyrule.wordpress.com/2009/09/28/i-am-the-hero-and-the-villain-in-the-movie-life-directed-by-me/

Chain snatching: http://reachnaran.com/chain-snatching/

Complementing and Opposing Companions of Life: http://reachnaran.com/complementing-and-opposing-companions-of-life/

Not able to get accommodation

10 years ago
by admin in

Client: For the past three or four months we are trying to get the accommodation for type 5 quarters. We are currently staying in type 3 quarters (smaller house).

My husband is a government employee and we are due to type 5 quarters (it’s a bigger one) for several months.

Naran: You are not able to get that.

What are the feelings you are having?

What if you don’t get it?

Client: I am unhappy about it.

Naran: How you are maintaining that unhappy feeling?

You have been saying you are not getting the apartment that is due to your husband.

What is the thought that goes on in your mind?

Whom you are blaming for this situation?

You have to consider all of them.

What are you doing about the situation?

Client: We are trying for the same. But for several reasons like – the type 5 apartment is not available and the houses are given based on priority, and we are not getting the apartment yet.

Naran: What are the other thoughts you are getting?

Why you are not getting the accommodation?

Who is responsible for that?

What are the feelings you get – like for example, “It is not unfair that houses are given first to senior people”?

List all of them.

Whatever you thoughts and whatever you had said about the individuals concerned – the people who had to allocate the house for you, just list them out. Release each and every one of them.

What are advantages going to type 5?

What disadvantages staying in type 3?

Write them out. Why I want to move away from type 3 quarters? There has to be some reasons. List them out, one after another.

There is one problem over which you might be thinking about. We need to unearth those thoughts.

Now work on your “Likes and dislikes”.

Presently there is lack of space means that it’s a dislike isn’t it? Therefore, you don’t like the current house. Then how will you get a new house?

As long as you don’t like the present house, which means you are rejecting the present house, you will not get any new house.

It’s a rule, “Accept the present that you don’t want, to get the one you want”.

Therefore, you to need to accept whatever are available to you currently and you release all the dislikes that you have about your present house.

You are continuously cursing that the space in the current house is not enough.

What will happen if you continue to do complain?

Even if you move to bigger house, eventually you will be faced with lack of space. How?

Your husband will get more books and some of your relatives will move in. In the current house, her husband has completely filled one room with books.

Another rule: same reaction will get you a similar result, if not the same result.

Say “I release my desire to go to type 5 quarters”.

This is very important.

Unconsciously you have the resistance to go to type 5 quarters. Therefore, say, “I release my resistance to go to type 5 quarters”.

What is meant by resistance to type 5 quarters?

There is a desire to be in type 3 quarters. Unconsciously,   you want to be in type 3 quarters because there is some advantage staying there.

Client: The advantage staying in type 3 quarters is that we are staying in the ground floor.

Naran: You have a desire to be in ground floor. This desire stops you from moving to type 5. Release that desire to be in type 3 quarters.

For all (troublesome) situations we are the reason behind it.

Whether she gets type 5 quarters or not, that is a different issue. Clean the clutters of your mind.

If you have the feeling, “Let it come when it has to come” then only it will come to you.

Instead, till such time (until you get the type 5 quarters) a fight goes inside, spoils your mood and you feel tensed all the time.

In addition, always you are angry about concerned authorities and criticizing the government officials. Release each and everything.

In the morning (before you came for the class) you would have picked up a fight with your spouse. You can release that even now (thus past is healed).

Related Posts

Animal Spirits June 27 2009 Part II: http://healbyanimalspirits.wordpress.com/2009/07/25/animal-spirits-june-27-2009-part-ii/

Pluses and Minuses: http://reachnaran.com/pluses-and-minuses/

Want a promotion: http://joboneoone.wordpress.com/2013/06/16/want-a-promotion/

I am not getting my promotion

10 years ago
by admin in

Naran

One person joined a new company.

He worked in the company for one year. He was due for a promotion but he did not get it.

So he thought that this company is not the right company for him. He was contemplating to resign and started searching for a new job.

At that time he developed a back pain. There is no problem in the office, but he is thinking that he is not given promotion.

I asked him the nature of his back pain.

He said that while sitting there is no pain. But while walking or climbing the stairs, he gets a back pain.

Here the body conveys to him, “The place you are sitting is already secured. Why you need to go elsewhere. Why do you want another job? You are already secured”.

I told him that this company is by all means secured.

Now, he has to make a commitment, ‘I will stop searching for a new job’.

If the pain reduces then the diagnosis is correct and he has to continue in this company.

He took the commitment. The pain got healed and he stopped searching for a new job. Till to-day he has been in the same job, for the last 7 years.

Related Posts

Get a promotion and find harmony as well: http://reachnaran.com/get-a-promotion-and-find-harmony-as-well/

Relived from lower back pain: http://healbymeditation.wordpress.com/2010/03/16/relived-from-lower-back-pain/

Want a promotion: http://joboneoone.wordpress.com/2013/06/16/want-a-promotion/

Life situations where Walnut is helpful

10 years ago
by admin in

Naran

When I go to a person for request: (Bach Flower Remedies) BEECH and WALNUT

To make person easily approachable: WALNUT and WATER VIOLET

Uphill task: WALNUT and HORNBEAM

To begin: WALNUT is like ‘PILLAYAR SULI” (a symbol in Tamil that invokes the blessings of Lord Ganesha – the remover of obstacles)

To end: WALNUT because beginning is end of something else.

To begin communication, to re-establish communication and I don’t know how to start the communication: WALNUT

Sharing the ancestral property: WALNUT

When one withholds info, as in a therapy: AGRIMONY and WALNUT

Work is not challenging: WALNUT

Puberty: WALNUT

To come out of too much of TV watching and speaking on mobile phones, or any other form of addiction: WALNUT, SCLERANTHUS

WALNUT protects our boundaries

First marriage ended in a divorce, not to attract the same type of person in the second marriage: WALNUT

I feel rejected: CHICORY, WALNUT

I am easily offended (highly sensitive): CHICORY, HOLLY, and WALNUT

The antonym of attraction is Resistance – resistance means to fight against or refrain from temptation. To refrain from any temptation: WALNUT and CHERRY PLUM

When the child revolts and throw temper tantrums: CHICORY, HOLLY and WALNUT

When completion is not happening in any work, for example not completing the book you promised to write and it’s half-done: WALNUT, OAK and HORNBEAM

Defense against a verbal attack – WALNUT, PINE (when you are constantly criticized) – for example, due a strict father his son is afraid.

The antonym of attraction is Hindrance. Therefore, to give/get a helping hand: WALNUT (it works like Wolf animal spirit).

When there is Delay, Obstruction, and Resistance: WALNUT.

When somebody prevents (hinders) promotion: WILLOW and WALNUT (“if he wants, he can help but he didn’t or he spoiled it”)

All of us worried about ****** (7.5 years itch): WALNUT

He is afraid he will fail in the exam (transition from one class to another), Interview or reapplying for a new passport: WALNUT

When others are unreasonable: WILLOW, WALNUT

When anybody is merciless: WALNUT

When a person is avoiding you: ROCK WATER, CHESTNUT BUD and WALNUT

Reconciling to the situation: WALNUT

For a caring, co-operative, friendly, generous, helpful, kind atmosphere: WALNUT

Any stiffness: WALNUT, ROCK WATER. When the atmosphere is tensed, when there is tension, WALNUT is the remedy.

Walnut is the remedy for relaxation. Antonyms for stiff are easy and relax. For relaxation – WALNUT

If you are uncomfortable to attend a VIP’s marriage: WALNUT, WATER VIOLET and LARCH (you will be treated well)

If anyone is possessive, selfish, greedy, demanding, stingy: CHICORY, WALNUT

To stop the bleeding: RESCUE REMEDY, WALNUT

Want to hurry up: IMPATIENS and WALNUT – then the program may not start on time

Children during teenage — not to be influenced by peers and friends – WALNUT protects the child

The child will cry, whenever parents criticize: RESCUE REMEDY and WALNUT (it will find balance and protect self).

Due to constant criticism a child will become HEATHER. To prevent that from happening in the future, Walnut is the remedy.

Walnut tree is big.  When the flower blooms its smell is so strong, insects and other flies will keep away. So it can protect the self.

Allergic to smell – (gem remedy) YELLOW SAPPHIRE and WALNUT

Give the remedies always separately.

In Nutshell

The goal of Walnut’s healing is to have constancy and stability in one’s life!!!

Life situations where Walnut is helpful

10 years ago
by admin in

Naran

When I go to a person for request: (Bach Flower Remedies) BEECH and WALNUT

To make person easily approachable: WALNUT and WATER VIOLET

Uphill task: WALNUT and HORNBEAM

To begin: WALNUT is like ‘PILLAYAR SULI” (a symbol in Tamil that invokes the blessings of Lord Ganesha – the remover of obstacles)

To end: WALNUT because beginning is end of something else.

To begin communication, to re-establish communication and I don’t know how to start the communication: WALNUT

Sharing the ancestral property: WALNUT

When one withholds info, as in a therapy: AGRIMONY and WALNUT

Work is not challenging: WALNUT

Puberty: WALNUT

To come out of too much of TV watching and speaking on mobile phones, or any other form of addiction: WALNUT, SCLERANTHUS

WALNUT protects our boundaries

First marriage ended in a divorce, not to attract the same type of person in the second marriage: WALNUT

I feel rejected: CHICORY, WALNUT

I am easily offended (highly sensitive): CHICORY, HOLLY, and WALNUT

The antonym of attraction is Resistance – resistance means to fight against or refrain from temptation. To refrain from any temptation: WALNUT and CHERRY PLUM

When the child revolts and throw temper tantrums: CHICORY, HOLLY and WALNUT

When completion is not happening in any work, for example not completing the book you promised to write and it’s half-done: WALNUT, OAK and HORNBEAM

Defense against a verbal attack – WALNUT, PINE (when you are constantly criticized) – for example, due a strict father his son is afraid.

The antonym of attraction is Hindrance. Therefore, to give/get a helping hand: WALNUT (it works like Wolf animal spirit). When there is Delay, Obstruction, and Resistance: WALNUT. When somebody prevents (hinders) promotion: WILLOW and WALNUT (“if he wants, he can help but he didn’t or he spoiled it”)

All of us worried about ****** (7.5 years itch): WALNUT

He is afraid he will fail in the exam (transition from one class to another), Interview or reapplying for a new passport: WALNUT

When others are unreasonable: WILLOW, WALNUT

When anybody is merciless: WALNUT

When a person is avoiding you: ROCK WATER, CHESTNUT BUD and WALNUT

Reconciling to the situation: WALNUT

For a caring, co-operative, friendly, generous, helpful, kind atmosphere: WALNUT

Any stiffness: WALNUT, ROCK WATER. When the atmosphere is tensed, when there is tension, WALNUT is the remedy. Walnut is the remedy for relaxation. Antonyms for stiff are easy and relax. For relaxation – WALNUT

If you are uncomfortable to attend a VIP’s marriage: WALNUT, WATER VIOLET and LARCH (you will be treated well)

If anyone is possessive, selfish, greedy, demanding, stingy: CHICORY, WALNUT

To stop the bleeding: RESCUE REMEDY, WALNUT

Want to hurry up: IMPATIENS and WALNUT – then the program may not start on time

Children during teenage — not to be influenced by peers and friends – WALNUT protects the child

The child will cry, whenever parents criticize: RESCUE REMEDY and WALNUT (it will find balance and protect self). Due to constant criticism a child will become HEATHER. To prevent that from happening in the future, Walnut is the remedy. Walnut tree is big.  When the flower blooms its smell is so strong, insects and other flies will keep away. So it can protect the self.

Allergic to smell – (gem remedy) YELLOW SAPPHIRE and WALNUT

Give the remedies always separately.

In Nutshell

The goal of Walnut’s healing is to have constancy and stability in one’s life!!!

Office Remedies Part I

10 years ago
by admin in

Naran

Convincing about a useless product

I am asked to market a useless product. I don’t know how to convince the customers:

GENTIAN (for being discouraged) and WILLOW (for resentment)

Add LARCH to develop confidence in you to sell

To convince others – especially in selling, VERVAIN

Implement a process change

WALNUT, OAK (he goes in the same path, and so doesn’t look for alternatives) and HORNBEAM

Asking for leave

Asking for leave at the last moment, keep postponing it – because initially “my Boss will say no”

MIMULUS to face the boss

WALNUT for rapport with the boss

CENTAURY to speak your cause assertively

WILLOW: To avoid blaming the boss

No empowerment

My boss will put me in a critical situation giving an impression that why not I do the job myself.

If I do it independently though, she would get upset because I have done the job without consulting her.

WILLOW (blaming) and SCLERANTHUS (for fear of getting confusing instructions)

Getting shouted at

In front of everybody my boss shouts – “I didn’t make any mistake why should I be blamed.”

WILLOW (resentment) and add PINE (for being blamed) and LARCH (losing confidence) CRAB APPLE (what others will think about me)

Not satisfied with her own performance

Even though she has got a very good rating, she is not happy about the job she has done.

Pine for being not satisfied with one’s own work

Develop Creativity

Multimedia: ELM, CLEMATIS

Public Meeting

ELM, GORSE and HEATHER is for public presentation

Managing an incompetent person

I have to manage somebody who is not good. He is related to one of the directors.

WILLOW for resentment

BEECH for criticising

CENTAURY: because of inability to voice one’s opinion

Related Blogs

Winning Presentations: http://reachnaran.com/winning-presentations/

Sales Exam: http://reachnaran.com/sales-exam/

Resentment is a seed don’t feed it

10 years ago
by admin in

Savitri

I am tired of looking after my daughter, who is giving birth to her third child. Currently they are staying in Mumbai.

I am tired of travelling too, from Chennai to Mumbai as well as doing the baby-sitting stuff.

Naran

Tell me in which part of your life you have looked after somebody in the same way you are looking after your daughter now.  They may be your cousins or friends.

Savitri

You won’t believe it, if I tell you that I had done the same for my mother. I looked after her when she gave birth to my younger brother after nineteen long years (after my birth).

My parents wanted to have a son. I resented it.

I also didn’t like to take care of my mother’s pregnancy too.

Naran

No doubt your frustration continues.

When we don’t heal ourselves regarding a life-situation then the same situation will happen in the future too and you will go through the same feelings and thoughts.

Savitri

Are you saying that I will be helping my grand-daughter too, when she gets pregnant? No way. I don’t think I will be living until then.

Naran

Not necessarily.

You may go through the same experience in your next lifetime(s) also.

Or you might get caught in a situation in this life-time itself that is similar to this situation. And you will end-up feeling the same.

So, I would advise you to heal all your incidents related to pregnancy, including yours and some other incidents where you had felt in the same way as you are feeling now.

Related Blogs

How and why we need to forgive others: http://reachnaran.com/how-and-why-we-need-to-forgive-others/

The Mother’s Care: http://reachnaran.com/the-mothers-care/

Profit after Loss: http://reachnaran.com/profit-after-loss/

Fear manifests what we do not want

11 years ago
by admin in

Madhu

There is always a saying that marriages are made in heaven. Is that true?

And if so then why there is negativity like divorce, extramarital, and even more than that?

I am very much afraid of this issue as it’s a lifelong decision and relationship.

Is there any switch word which all can chant to have a successful, happy and respected marital life either love or arranged.

Any switch words that can keep harmony not only in couple but also between two families because sometimes we see that due to family distances, fights arise.

And also anything after which there should not be any regression about marriage decision?

I know you are the only one who can clear my questions and hope so many people wants know it.

Naran

Fear is hallucination.

Fearing about something is happening in the mind only.

The mind is unable to perceive the future and therefore indulges in thoughts that produce fear.

Instead of becoming inquisitive, the mind pushes you in fear or in darkness.

What is this fear? Fear manifests the very same event which we do not want.

Understand that every emotion has got individual consciousness.

Fear is born because future is unknown. Anything unknown is darkness. Darkness – fear – will be no more, when there is light.

When the fear appears, think that it needs light. Say, “Fear SET FREE, OPEN, ALIGN yourself with the LIGHT and RELAX me.”

Read again and again all the answers and blog postings and meditate on each and every answer.

You will know everything that you need to know.

Too much of thoughts – unwanted thoughts – obsess you and you have forgotten to listen. Listening happens when we become silent and Truth will reveal itself when we introspect.

It is not my reply but your understanding is more important.

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